It all started with some snow days. Michelle and I are both teachers so we decided we could play around on ancestry website and do our family tree. It started out small then 14 plus hours later, two computers, and our phones we had a huge list of our grandmothers side. We went back to 1459 and Switzerland! Found at 1-we aren't German like my Grandma always told us. 2- we have a cute little town/farm with our original family name. 3-they used the same name over and over and over again!
The next day we even started on my grandfathers side and found out they lived in the next town over from where we grew up in Illinois.
Fast forward to May....Michelle got to looking for our father. She didn't even tell me at first. Then one day on the way work I get a text with the screenshot of the first conversation. I immediately started crying. My heart was racing. Was this real?????
Let me step back a minute and talk about some history of feelings. Growing up I did have a dad who treated me as his own. I was 3/4 when he met my mom. He technically is the first person I ever called Dad. I was around the age of 5 at that time. He took on the roll of raising 4 girls that wasn't his own. We lived in a small town in Illinois and he lived across the river working in the oil fields. He worked hard and wanted us. That's a big deal to a little girl who always understood that she didn't have a dad that wasn't her DNA. In 1997 he married my mom and we all moved south to have a better life for my sisters and I along with his son. Though this marriage did not work out he stayed around for my little sister. He even stayed around for us. Always accepted us to come along visitations and vacations. Till we got to the teenage stage and friend time over ruled hanging out with dad. But even as I grew he took my on a senior year vacation, gave me money for senior trip, he came to my wedding, and college graduation. He might not ever know but it all meant a lot.
Then along the way God blessed me with father figures. I had a youth pastor that guided me through high school and college and still is a part of my life. The Godly father figure I really needed and God provided. I started my foundation as a Christian by his teachings and was given a early Fatherly Godly love by him.
I was also given another Father figure that included a second family. He's always been there to guide me, give advice, and give me love. We always joke I'm the daughter he didn't have to pay for college. I know if I ever need anything this man will try his best to do it. He also has the best second family I could ask for! I've got a second mom and sister from another mom and mister I could ask for!! Plus, added aunts, uncles, and nieces and nephews!
So let's hop back to May...we found our dad!! Was this real???
My whole life it was me not knowing. Then found out I had a BROTHER!! That shared half my DNA!! I mean say what!!! It was amazing. We chatted back and forth via Facebook. All excited about the possibility that was before us. We found a DNA testing place that was here in TN and then also in WA where our father was visiting. We both got our samples in on June 9th....and waited. The day's drug on so slowly. I must have checked my email a 1,000 times June 14th waiting on the results. THEN 3:30 came and my heart raced as I saw the notification pop on my phone. I don't know how those people on Maury feel 😂. It was a match!!! 99.9997%! I immediately cried and was flooded with so many emotions. I called Michelle and told her the results. I sent a screen shot to MY BROTHER Allen. And he immediately wanted to talk to me. We talked on the phone and it was amazing. I heard is voice. His laugh. We were all just in shock. I mean he had gone his whole life not knowing he had two sisters!!
Later that evening while with Michelle we both called our dad. We heard his voice---which was heart stopping. The whole thing just didn't have any words. 28 years without even knowing and now I had a dad, a step mom, a brother, a sister in law, a niece, and more!!!! We announced on social media on Father's Day which made it so special for us all. For the first time I got to tell MY DAD Happy Father's Day!
We then planned a trip to meet them! I was so excited!! We were flying out to Seattle to meet them. I was nervous just wondering about how the trip would go. I also had never been on a plane. So July 1st Michelle, her husband Jacob, and I hopped on a plane and headed out. On the plane I wrote this piece and I'll leave you with that. Part 2 of the trip will come next!!
Every little girl deserves this...a daddy. Someone who calls them princess. Someone who dances with her; A forever dance partner. Someone who lets her wrap her finger around his heart. Someone who gets to come with Donuts with dad. A protector yet the first man to love her.
My whole life I was missing that. I've always wondered who helped make "me". What was he like? How did his voice sound like? Was he outgoing? Shy? Did he panic or have anxiety like me? My brown hair, my brown eyes, my easily tanned skin, my trillion freckles, my allergies, my everything...was all those things about me a part of him? Granted I grew up being told I look exactly like my mom but it pained me at the same time to be told that as much as I loved my mother. I couldn't just be her. I grew up with one picture. Just one. I saw his puffy cheeks. His brown hair. His dark beard. And it gave me a peace knowing I got something from him and that I could live with. When I was 13 my heart ached. Ached for a dad ...to be someone's little girl...his little girl. I would always say I was part Mexican and I was sooo proud. I don't even know why. It's not like I actually knew if this was true. But it gave me something of him. Over time I gave up on the dream of figuring out who my dad was and where. Before that I would dream of him finding me (and Michelle). That he would just show up at my doorstep. The thing with dreams is sometimes you have control of making them come true. This one...it was just a dream that caused heartache ever June, Every time I saw my friends with their dads, every time I missed out on a "dad thing". I was so very blessed with other father figures in my life who still this day are here for me. Both who still to this day would do anything for me. For that I am thankful for God brining them into my life but a hole still existed.
Until recently, my dear sister found him. The other half of our brown hair and brown eyes. The one who gave me my puffy cheeks and eye shape. In the day and age of Internet we found him. I wept when she sent me the messages she had sent back and forth. The possibility of one of my biggest hurts being healed. And to top it off we had another sibling! A brother...who we looked like!! The days that followed were unreal. I felt like a lifetime movie. We got a DNA test done and waited...and waited...and waited. Okay well we only waited 6 actual days which was nothing compared to the 28 years of not knowing. Then the email came...a 99.99999997% match. I wept. My chest and throat tighten and I wept. Something I've only been able to dream of wasn't a dream anymore. It was my reality. The thought of knowing for the first time in my life who my father was on a Father's Day, of my whole life being something different, getting a whole new family was overwhelming. A good overwhelming. The hole inside me was closing up.
I heard my fathers voice for the first time in my life and it was amazing. I talked to my brother! Crazy...another person who shares part of who I am! He announced to the world on Fathers Day about his two wonderful daughters. My heart smiled. I got to tell him Happy Fathers Day.
Today we meet them. The wonder and the wait is over. We are all so unbelievably excited. I keep picturing the meeting in my head. Holding Michelle's hand fighting back the tears as well walk through the airport toward him. Seeing him standing right in front of me. For the first time feeling my fathers hug. Even now as I write this I'm crying because I am so grateful for what God has done. Something I've always prayed for is meeting my father...and God answered that prayer at a time in my life when I needed it most. It's one thing to get love from a Heavenly Father but now I get that here on earth. I can't wait to make memories with him and my brother with Michelle. So the adventure begins of our lives together.
The Struggle is Part of the Story
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